Victoria Zamora

Messages

1. February 16, 2007

   Regret

   Hi mom
   I miss you and I am so sorry. I am sorry I didnt stop to see your struggles or just to be less selfish. I find myself always dwelling on what if things were differnt . how would i change things. IF ONLY I could turn back the hand of time To be there for ,to take care of you , just be everything you wanted me to be. There are so many things I took for granted. You did everything for me and my sisters but I was way to seld involved to relize until now. Im sorry I made you worrie and cry and made it hard to raise. I am sorry i blamed you for things that I was wa y to young to relize. I am sorry i didnt take care of you the way a real daughter should have. i AM SORRY i WASNT THE FIRST ONE TO OPENING STAY THE NIGHT ALL THE NIGHT in the hospital. I wish I could turn back just for a moment cuz maybe then things would be differnt. Maybe just one moment of acting like I was greatful might have kept you longer with me. I relized recently that I have been searching for a love like yours that is unconditional and whole and honset. I dont know where to find that mom and i dont think i am suppose because that love is only given once in a life time.

   Anonymous

2. October 14, 2006

   Hey,

   Hey, girl the loss of a parent is so grand that it’ll feel that a hole is in your heart for the rest of your life.

   Nancy

3. May 23, 2006

   ALONE

   I thought it time it would get better, but to my suprise it has just gotten worse. I miss you mom and I iwhs i could make this hurting go away. i wish i could see you . I wish you i could feel you . i wish all of this pain would just go away. No one understand the feeling .. no one understand how empty i truely feel. No one know how much I care and it sucks because it all in my heart and inmy head. Sometiems I just need you to stop by and say hi. Sometimes I just need to see you smiel to brighten my day. SOmetimes I just need hug wheni am sad and i feel there is not one here to protect me. You weremy protector my savor. You were always there for me with out judgement and with out grief. i could always count on you and know yearsa have passed and IT just really saddens me that I can run to you tohelp because i dont knwo where you are. It makes me cry to know I have amissing piece missing. It hard to tust other with my heart and it tears me apart. I just want you to come visitme sometimes. I think it would help me cope with things better. Maybe just once in life time is all i am asking for because i miss oh so much… that i jsut cant stop feeling this… emptiness. I dont know how to fix. I can only deny it for song long until it happens aagin. Please….

   Anonymous

4. March 27, 2005

   hey mom

   Its me again. Hear I am thinking of you again this tiem its the day after easter. Me and my sisters celebrated early this year, a day early. Anyways, its was allot of fun. You would have been laughing the whole time you would have been there, no joke. All the kids were so excited and they had a great time. I gave Victory and Glory a basket , jsut like you use to give me. i miss tat . i miss my borthdays and little occassion because you would never forget about me. I would be the only getting baskets , well that was until Glory was born of course because then you began to spoil her over me lol. Anyway mom I really miss you. The other day I opened my self to Krystal and todl her alittle about but over all the person I go and talk to knwo is Norma. I think its better than nothing because then I iwll go crazy. I dont know mom but I miss you and I wish you were here cuz god knows I proabbaly wouldnt be living in Lindas house because i would be at home with you. I lit a candle like 3 days ago , you know the one, the one with the Guardian Agel and the two kids cross the bridge. i bought that one and now i have it burnning in my room. I leave it burning for you mom so that one day you can see the light and come and see me. Hopefully this will guide you to the right place to be free. I lvoe you mom and i miss you allot. Please come and see as soon as you can.

   Anonymous

5. February 17, 2005

   I need to talk

   Mom I thought I would come and write to you sence you are the one that cant judge me. Mom me and kyrstal haven’t really been getting along lately and I talked to my sisabout it today and maybe what she says is true. The part about the reason why I continue to be with her is because of you . I thought too in the begining, but now I know why I stay with her because she a good women mom. She supports financially and shes nice to me mom . I THINK YOU WOULD LIKE HER TOO. I love her mom . I really do love her though, not because you left but mainly that she respects me like if we aregue and she hurts my feelings she trys her best to change and most of the time it does work .We have been thru allot and to be honest I wouldnt trade it for anything because we have learned allot from each other. Another thing is mom sence you have past I have sight of everything. It’s like i believe in god but I dont . I dont hate him om . I use to feel that in the begining , but now its like i dont care about praying and beielveing . I guess you can say I lost my faith. I want to be leave because I dont wnt to suffer the raging fires of hell mom but I dont knwo how. I wish you could come to me in a dream or at least a though to help with my issues. Mom I wanted to let you k nwo that I am back in school and I plan to be the next Lupe. I will not give up until I am completely done. You suffered allot when you were young and I want to make sure that your grand children dont have to worrie about anything. I want to make sure I have everything they need mom . I just wish you would be here to see them. i know you will be when there born i just wish you would be here now mom.

   Anonymous

6. November 26, 2004

   I miss u

   Hi mom its me again. I miss you so much it hurts.It’s been so long sence i’ve seen you. When are you going to come by and see me. My girl doesnt understand why i do the things i do and to be hoenst i dont know either. Sometimes i feel really alone mom . No one understands me. The only time i feel like i am ok is when i dream of you but it kills me when i wake knowing I proabbly wont see you for anther 3 months. I have been tring my best to keep a good sister to my sisters and brothers mom. My birthday is next week and the only i asked last year was for you to come and visit me but you didnt come mom. I was like really hopeing you would at least come to me in my dreams btu you didn’t. I’M NOT LOOKING FORWARD to next week I didnt look forward to it last year and honestly i dont know when this will change but it just doesnt seem the same with you. I still loo forward to you buying me my cake and surprise me with new pair of sweats. I know this might not mean allot to other people but it means so much. I dont know how to deal with this….

   Anonymous

7. October 29, 2004

   I miss you

   Last weekend I got married and I dreamed of you and I know you were there…I miss you….sooooo much

   Me

8. June 18, 2004

   Happy Father's Day

   Happy fathers day amma, you were our mother and father and you loved us very much and did your best. I love you and miss you.

   Norma

9. May 7, 2004

   Happy Mother's Day

   Happy Mothers day mom, I miss you, I love you and I know you are here with us all.

   Anonymous

10. April 2, 2004

    Missing You

    Hello momma I read my sister Norma post in your tribute and you are probably thinking” why are writing in english?” Well you know me momma never been good at speaking it,pero you understand… All i want to say that i do miss you and i miss your guidance as a mother you providing me and i knwo my struggle as one are soon to comem and challenges are here already. I know I have never been the one to express my emotions to anyone……….But I love you momma and will always will. You are in my hearts adn well as Yraya and Buddy. Buddy thinks of you sometimes MOmma he says your favorite color is Yellow. Is it momma? Yellow is a peaceful color. Well momma again I Love you and your guidance is really needed i think for all of your children. As for my brothers and sisters Mom i love them allot and hold them dear , just never say it very often but I know deep down they do. Love you.

    Te Tu Hija Baby

11. April 2, 2004

    I miss you

    I miss you terribly…i love you.

    Norma

12. February 17, 2004

    Sometimes i find it hard to believe that your not here with me. I think his whole time i have been avoiding the fact that your gone. I had a dream yesterday of you mommy. It only reminded me of how alone i am. Yes i know mom i have my sister and my brother but still they cant take the place of you. I try lord i do and yet still i findit hard to deal with it. My dad is gone he is dead in my book although i know you dont like to hear about that BUT ITS WHAT I FEEL. Its likeim suppose to care for some who can careless about me and my sisters. I love you and i respect what you say but its really hard to apply it. I never thought that i could feel this alone. Never I wish you could come to me and just lay with me one more time so that for one day i can feel complete again if only for secound.

    Anonymous

13. October 29, 2003

    I miss you

    I miss you mom.

    Norma

14. September 5, 2003

    Te quiero ama

    Te estrano mucho mama, y te qiuero yo se que estas aqui conmigo en este momento tan dificil y yo se que tu mi vas ayudarme…I love you mother.

    Anonymous

15. April 17, 2003

    Mommy I miss you so much. I feel so lost without you. I wish I had you here with me. Why did god have to take you away from me mom. I love you, i need you , I miss u. I misss you telling me that everything is going to be okay. You seem so far away mom.

    Anonymous

16. January 22, 2003

    I love you

    She was a wonderful mother and friend.

    Norma Castaneda