What Is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written notice that shares news of someone’s passing, along with a brief portrait of who they were. It may appear in a newspaper, on a funeral home website, in a memorial program, or shared privately among family and friends.
At its core, an obituary may serve three purposes:
- To announce that someone has passed
- To honor their life and legacy
- To share service or memorial details, if appropriate
Some obituaries are short and factual. Others are longer, more personal, and full of storytelling. There’s no required format—just the intention to remember someone with thoughtfulness and care.
How Do You Write an Obituary
Generally, obituaries follow a simple structure that includes essential details about the person, along with a few personal elements of their life. You might include:
- Full name of the person who has passed
- Date and place of passing (and sometimes birthdate)
- Key life details, such as where they grew up, went to school, worked, or lived
- Family connections—those they loved and were loved by (spouse, children, siblings, close friends)
- Meaningful contributions, such as community involvement, creative work, or military service
- Personal touches—hobbies, values, phrases they always said, things that made them unique
- Service information, if there will be a memorial, burial, or celebration of life
- Donation or tribute details, if relevant
You don’t have to include everything on this list, but it’s a good starting point. Some people keep it short and simple; others take more space to tell a fuller story. What matters most is that the obituary reflects the person you’re remembering.
If you’d like to see how others have done it, the AP News obituary section shares a range of examples that may offer inspiration.
Making It Personal: Finding Their Voice in Your Words
An obituary doesn’t need to sound formal or follow a rigid script. Some of the most moving ones are the simplest—written in the voice of someone who loved them, with small details that help others remember who they were.
You might include:
- A favorite saying, song, or poem they loved
- A small habit or daily ritual that captured their spirit
- A moment that reflects their kindness, humor, or courage
- A brief line about how they made others feel
If it feels right, don’t be afraid to include warmth, affection, or even a little lightness. Laughter and love often sit right alongside grief. The obituary can be a space for both.
For a more poetic perspective, this New York Times essay by writer and poet Rachel Jamison Webster offers gentle, reflective advice on how to write an obituary that feels true to the heart.
Common Questions About Writing an Obituary
It’s normal to have questions, especially if you’ve never written an obituary before. Here are some of the things people often wonder:
How long should an obituary be?
It can be as short as a few sentences or as long as a few paragraphs. If it’s for a newspaper, check their word count or formatting guidelines. Online memorials or printed programs often allow more space.
Can I write the obituary myself?
Yes. Obituaries are often written by family members, close friends, or sometimes a funeral director. If you’re not sure where to begin, start with a simple outline—or ask a loved one to help you shape the words.
Is it okay to include humor or informal language?
If it reflects the person you’re remembering, it may be more than okay—it may be perfect. A well-placed memory, phrase, or bit of humor could help others feel close to them again.
Do I have to include the cause of passing?
No. Some families choose to share this, others do not. It’s a personal decision, and either choice is completely valid.
What if my family disagrees about what to include?
Try to center the obituary on love, shared memories, and what you all respected about the person. If needed, keep it simple and neutral. You can always create separate tributes in cards, speeches, or private writing.
Compassionate Care at Hollywood Forever
At Hollywood Forever, we’re here to help you honor life with care, beauty, and respect. Whether you’re planning ahead or navigating a recent loss, our team is here to support you—every step of the way.
Learn more about our memorial services, planning options, and how we can help.
