Katrina Johnneva Vasquez

1974 - 2000

Messages

  1. i am here

    i am here still missing you;longing to hear you say oh mother really:to move my bangs and kiss me in that spot on my forehead. Almost got to be with you last september and october but they revived me 4 times. Fell asleep content on a saturday morning listening to your sweet voice nearly 21 days later they pulled the plug and i woke up. I am sure you laughed at behavior trying to get home and the war the med staff and I waged in that endeavor: your grandmother, probably got jollies from it hom3 less than 24 hours and went to a different hospital that was better. aaaaaa just spent another 8 days in the good hospital, got out yesterday. can’t bsrely get to the bathroom hqve good friends helping me now and God willing will be moving either back to ca. or near George our ashes to be in one container when we both have moved in with you. lol but true 45 years it took for him to adit that he should have given me a forever. he has always loved me but admitting it was not so easy. But I held out didn’t let him go there and God willing one day be able to curl into his arms and sleep better that I have most of my life. He will help to get this site to reflect family, friends and a more acccurate presentation of who you will always be to me. his stepson thinks our story should be made into a film he is just the one to do it.he is such a famous director he cried as I recounted what your father did to us and the struggle to try to protect you still keep you from suffering because of the ugliness he made of life mostly for me.I tried so hard to keep the horrors and cruelites from touching you bore your anger and worse while loving you more than anything in this world. knew more of your rage than I ever wanted to know. I love you then now and always forever siempre mommy

    mommy

  2. beloved daughter

    I loved you so and tried so hard to give you a life free of the burdens that i kept from you. I could not let you carry the baggage that your father created for both of us or in any way allow anything to taint your life. You understand now. See how long it took to find you, over a decade no one contacted me or any of the people who could have given you information on were I was. I didn’t want to leave it like it was although it was so hard it ripped the heart out of my chest to loose you again, but, I had to protect you and me from tht person and from ourselves. I left the state and tried to find you on the net but you know that I was limited in comparison to you. I am proud of your my stubborn willfill child, you made your dreams reality and took no prisoners except the hearts that you touched, life has felt so empty now it is truly empty but i will be with you soon the doctors say. I wish but you know my luck my wishes don’t come true only you but should anyone read this and not know that I loved her enough to sacrafice my life and all my plans and raised her alone her father never helped and well contact me it you really want to know. .I believed in her and tried to do the best that I could spoiled her rotten and always encouraged her to go beyond the sky and grab hold of a comet’s tail and grace the comos with her beauty she didn’t believe and would say “oh, mother really you are so dumb.” Ya love does that but she did it and I did a great job because with out me this wonderous flaming star would not have flamed

    Heidi

  3. something in common

    It breaks my heart to read and hear what I’ve been exposed to on this day… Unfortunately we never met.But having music in common has brought me here to type these few words. I’m a New Yorker whose passion for alternate music far from the mainstream brings me to share this one unique threesome..The Cocteau Twins.
    From what I’ve heard here your voice had a subtle , effortless flow … I came across Pumalin thru the CD Tribute to the Cocteau Twins … I’ve had the recordings for about 2-3yrs but hadn’t sat down to read the artists covering the songs.I wish you and your bandmates would’ve had that chance to continue and grow in your musical gifts. I lost my father a few years back so I know 1st hand what it means to keep someones memory alive at all costs possible. Even though it’s been 7 yrs since you left your friends and family. You have unknowingly left a friend to ponder what if…….you will now be a part of my thoughts musically…. travel well hopey…..

    zepol

  4. Thinking of you...

    Hi sis. I think about you all the time. I play your songs at least weekly as I have them loaded on my work laptop. First you passed and now our little brother. I hope you are together somewhere. I hope to be with you two someday. I feel so bad that I didnt make the effort to go down there and find you when I had the chance. I wished I never moved away. Someday I will come to see you. I’m still putting together a site of all your things…posted once then was too sad to continue. But, I am rebuilding it soon in struts and you will have a place there with our family. Take care…I miss you.

    Your brother

  5. I’m so sorry that we hardly knew each other, even though we passed every day for something like a year. I will never forget the Friday before you left. I was upset with you and your cube-mates for being so noisy that I couldn’t talk on the phone and I came over and was so mean. When I came by on Monday morning to apologize for overreacting, you were gone. Nothing but the many toys on your desk (I hope your dad knows you did finally get some!) which stayed there for weeks, along with a rose I picked and left with your name plate. Now I carry that regret forever – I could have acted differently. You had so much to deal with and I knew nothing of any of it until it was too late. I try to never let that happen again and to take the time to get to know all those around me now. I can still see your blue-tinged hair the day we walked out together a few days before and I told you how cool I though it looked. I hope you are happy and free now and that we meet again one day.

    Mike Voss

  6. I play your songs alot. I love Now. I miss you and think of you often. I think I see you in my dreams and its really you.

    Your Brother Paul

  7. hopey i love you and i miss you. i will never forget you.
    i miss how stubborn you were and i miss how beautiful you were inside and outside.
    love dan

    Dan

  8. On Your B-Day

    I hope you enjoyed your flowers. Maybe one day your brother and his girl can come back and visit to tell me all about you. 🙂

    Michelle

  9. I only met you twice-once when you were 2 and when you were 11. Yet we had so much in common, much more than you or I ever knew. We had the same sad family, the same story, and I was trying to find you since 1998. My family is so screwed up, I didnt even hear about you until the night before the funeral or I would have been there. There was so much I wanted to tell you and still do. I know someday I will see you again, I can feel that. On that day I will tell you I am sorry. And I love you unconditionally. Your Brother forever
    Paul Vasquez

    Paul Vasquez

  10. Katrina

    I have only been to this site once before. I still don’t want to believe that it is true. It seems so unreal this reality that is. I want to say that I am so very sorry for disappointing you! I am sorry that those that should have loved you unquestionably didn’t. In our family most of us were either too screwed-up ourselves or too self-absorbed to make any effort to get to know you. Katrina, I always thought that one day we would reconcile. I was foolish to think that we had all the time in the world for that to happen. I am sorry for not being able to control my emotions when I spoke about you. They didn’t teach us about such things in the Marines. My little sister, I should have loved you even more than your friends. In the end, it was only they who held you close to their heart. You are very special to me! Little sister, pray for me. I love you.

    Danny

  11. Missing you

    We didn’t always see eye to eye, sometimes we got on each others nerves, but I always loved her and admired her strength. She was the personafication of perseverance. I always believed in her, even when we hadn’t seen each other in months or years. I cam almost hear her sing sometimes.

    Willy

  12. remembrance

    It’s been a while since I last wrote and I hope you’re fine. I still think about you in those quiet moments and I’ll keep in contact. Take care.

    jimi

  13. Always with me

    I keep a photograph of you by my bedside so that I can see your beautiful face before I fall asleep and when I wake up. You were with me on my wedding day and on our birthday even though I could not touch you or hear your sweet voice. The thought of you comforted me when my husband left me and you gave me strength once again. I love you and wish you were here so that we all could enjoy your smile again.You will always be with me.
    -Sara

    Sara

  14. i miss you…i still see you walking up to your car looking through my rear window as i drove away…if i only waited…

    matthew

  15. dreams

    Morning kartina.I’ve been thinking constantly about you since I foundout about your departure.
    I’ve can’t sleep without seeing you again. I’ll come and visit you soon.
    Try to stay 元気 and きれい.
    Always in my thoughts.
    Love from jimi

    jimi

  16. always stay happy

    I only found out yesterday about your sad departure; Phil sent me an e-mailwith this site address for which I am eternally very gratful – thanks Phil.
    I have thought about you often since
    we last talked on the phone that is
    why I decided to track you down as
    I miss your warmth and strength of character. Mostly, I miss you as a verydear friend and wish we could
    have kept in contact longer (after
    I left to live in the land of the rising sun). I hope all is well
    where you are and I’ll drop by
    one day to say hi when I get time
    off work. Stay fresh and beautiful.
    Love from your friend jimi

    jimi

  17. Howdy

    I just wanted to say Howdy. I miss hearing you call with a sad “hello” when thing weren’t going well. A friend of yours emailed me today, he said that he just found out. It’s been about a year and a half, but it looks like I’m the first one here though. I’m going to send your friend a link to this because he wanted information. I haven’t been able to come visit either place for awhile. I haven’t had a car and my life isn’t going too well right now. I wish you were here to save me like you always were. I have to go because I’m starting to cry. I love you. Phil

    Phil

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